


Undiscovered Media

by BookBluff



Category: Undertale
Genre: Bedroom, Cooking Show, Fire, Masturbation, Other, Quiz Show - Freeform, Robot Sex, Sex Tape, a robot with no sexual characteristics masturbating, an asexual robot giving itself a hole as it tries to finger itself, diary entries, just plain weird, news show, play, video journals, weird robot sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-02 08:21:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12723024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookBluff/pseuds/BookBluff
Summary: A three-part story of how Happstablook became Mettaton, and then Mettaton Ex, consisting of previously undiscovered media, including further journal entries, some promotional videos, and a leaked sex tape.From a Mettaton Ex/self prompt given to me by Pokestine. I finally got around to it.





	1. Happstablook's Diary

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pokestine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pokestine/gifts).



> You come across some old diaries. Oddly enough, each diary only has a single entry in it. But they were all neatly ordered. These are the entries in order.

_Dear Diary_

Today I found the most wonderful thing. I'd had the TV for a while, but today I discovered a channel on it that wasn't for the Underground. There were no monsters on this channel, and instead...

Humans.

So many humans. More than I had ever seen before. 

Not that I'd ever seen any before. 

I know that some have been in the Underground before. Our great King Asgore had killed them, and collected their souls, so that he can destroy the barrier, and we will be freed from the Underground.

Well, he will be able to, when he has the final soul he needs.

But I'd never seen those humans who'd been down here. Instead, I was working on the farm with my cousin. Apparently none of the humans were ever interested in looking at the snail farms. Even when Napstablook started up the snail racing, he didn't attract any of them. Not that I think attracting them was his plan. 

This human channel that I found, though...

The first show had been a quiz show. I'd watched, eyes large, staring at the screen as the charming host asked questions of his loyal fans. The questions grew harder as the show progressed, but I'd not been able to pay attention to him. Instead, my eyes were glued on the host. He was everything I never knew that I wanted.

That's when I had the best idea I'd ever had.

A human fan club. 

I drew up a poster, and put it up all around Waterfall.

The first meeting is tomorrow night. I'm sure that I'll have plenty of wonderful new friends to share with you after.

Until then, my dear diary, farewell.

 

_My Dear Diary_

My human fan club went off without a hitch. I started the meeting by myself, and then someone showed up. 

Her name is Alphys. She's... Well, she's a bit weird. While I was telling her about my experience with the human channel, she told me about her experience with DVDs and books that she'd found in the Waterfall dump. That's where she found my poster, and knew she'd found a kindred spirit.

I can hardly begrduge her from appreciating me. I am amazing. And we did have our love of human television in common. Even though the humans in the television she watched were rarely humans, and in fact were all depictions of humans, whereas the television I watched was filled with wonderful and charming hosts that commanded legions of fans who adored them.

After the quiz show yesterday, today I found a cooking show. Again, the host was so charming. Everything he did drew my eye to him as he commanded the attention of the camera and the viewer. 

He cooked spaghetti, and today I shared the recipe with Alphys at the fan club.

She'd loved it, though I wasn't able to eat any of it. It didn't look bad, but I think I would have preferred to eat the version the charming host had made. Surely, with such good looks as he possessed, the taste of his dish would have been phenomenal.

While we were talking, Alphys mentioned something about being appointed as Asgore's chief scientist. I suppose someone has to step in now that Gaster's gone. But that wasn't the best part. The best part, my dear diary? Is that she's an inventor, and she suggested something that she could make that could give me a body.

A body! Can you imagine that, my dear diary? A body all to my own? My other cousin may have found a dummy that he inhabits, but it can't feel right. 

Oh, I can't wait to tell Napstablook!

 

_Dearest Diary_

I invited Napstablook over to watch the latest human television show I found on the channel. It was a news show. Two humans were the focus point on this one, but like with the other two, there was only one who was truly the charismatic leader of the show. He sat in a studio corresponding to the other who was out somewhere in the human world looking at things. The camera loved the charismatic man who sat in the chair. 

The lighting showed off his high cheekbones, while the camera emphasised his chiseled jaw and strong chin. He was truly eye-catching, and worth watching.

Blookie wasn't nearly as interested in it as I was. But I was unable to pay much attention to my cousin while the show was on. It's fine for Blookie to ignore me while they listen to their music, but when I tried to watch something while they were over, Blookie got very upset.

I mean, you'd think Blookie would have been happy to find out that Alphys was going to help me get a body all of my own. 

I'm very disappointed in the selfishness of my cousin.

 

_My Dearest Diary_

Alphys came over today. Together we watched a new show I found on the human channel, before she showed me some sketches she'd made.

The show was something incredible. It was called  _Romeo and Juliet_ . The production quality lacked what a lot of shows I'd been watching had. The lighting wasn't as good. The costuming, however, was amazing. And then when Juliet stood on screen, she commanded everyone to pay attention to her. Whatever her Romeo is, I hope she finds it. 

And then the sketches. Oh, my dearest, darling, wonderful diary, the sketches! 

Alphys has truly done something amazing. I know that I'm going to be very happy when she makes it for me.

 

_My Most Dearest Darlingest Wonderful Diary Of All_

Another show today. This one was called a variety show. One host was a part of many different things. It was incredible how their charisma lent itself to not just one type of show but many. There were laughs and tears in the audience, and the applause...

I want to hear that applause for me.

And today, today I am one step closer to that happening. 

Because today, Alphys has done it.

And it's beautiful.

Farewell, my wonderful diary. For today, I am no longer Happstablook. 

Today, I shed that part of my life, as I become Mettaton.


	2. Mettaton's Video Journals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You discover a collection of tapes that all have "METTATON" written over them.

_201X - 1_

Something is on the screen, facing the camera. You assume it's facing it, at least. That is to say, the side of it that you can see is covered in small screens, switches, and four dials. It is also holding a microphone, which is positioned somewhere near the switches.

"HEY WELCOME TO METTATON'S VIDEO JOURNALS."

"I-I'm not quite sure... I don't think... That is... Uh..." Someone else says from off screen.

"HEY GUYS AND WELCOME TO METTATON"S VIDEO JOURNALS."

"I'm still not... I..."

"HEY GUYS AND WELCOME TO A NEW VIDEO JOURNAL SERIES. MY NAME'S METTATON."

"I'm not sure... Uh..."

"HEY EVERYONE THIS IS METTATON THIS IS GOING TO BE MY FIRST EVER VIDEO JOURNAL SERIES."

"That still doesn't..."

"HEY EVERYBODY I'M METTATON, AND WELCOME BACK TO METTATON. TODAY I'M MAKING VIDEO JOURNALS."

"I'm afraid-"

"HEY EVERYONE, METTATON HERE, AND TODAY I AM HAPPY TO BRING YOU A VIDEO JOURNAL."

"I... Uh... I'm not... Uh..."

"HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME TO MY VIDEO JOURNALS."

"Mettaton... I..."

"HEY HOW'S IT GOING BROS MY NAME IS METTATON. TODAY I'M GOING TO MAKE ONE OF THE MOST REQUESTED THINGS FOR ME. VIDEO JOURNALS."

"I think someone else..."

"TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU LADDIES MY NAME IS METTATON AND WELCOME TO MY VIDEO JOURNALS."

"Uh... Someone..."

"HELLO METTATON'S VIDEO JOURNALS ROBOTS."

"Actually... Uh... That is... I think.. Someone... Or a couple... Uhh... I think..."

"HELLO EVERYBODY MY NAME IS METTATON AND WELCOME TO MY VIDEO JOURNAL."

"I... Fine... That's... Fine..."

 

_201X - 2_

Mettaton stands in the middle of the screen. Although it has no face, it appears to be grinning.

"HELLO EVERYBODY, MY NAME IS METTATON AND WELCOME TO TODAYS QUIZ SHOW. TODAY'S CONTESTANT IS THE WONDERFUL ROYAL SCIENTIST DOCTOR ALPHYS! GIVE IT UP TO DOCTOR ALPHYS!"

The camera pans around to reveal a small reptillian creature. She's wearing an old lab coat that looks to be stained with food. She does not appear to have been expecting the camera, and she begins sweating, before panning the camera back.

The screen turns black.

When it comes back on, the same reptilian creature is seen, wearing an old dress, with a bow in her hair, that almost makes her look kawaii, if such a reptilian creature can indeed be said to look kawaii. She is still sweating, quite profusely.

"OHHH YES! LET'S START WITH AN EASY ONE!!"

_What's the prize for answering correctly?_

_A) Money_

_B) Mercy_

_C) New Car_

_D) More Questions_

The words appear on the screen in front of the nervous looking kawaii reptile. A timer is in the top part of the screen. "Uhhh... I think... D?" She flinches, as though expecting to get it wrong. 

"RIGHT! SOUNDS LIKE YOU GET IT! HERE'S YOUR TERRIFIC PRIZE!"

_What's the king's full name?_

_A) Lord Fluffybuns_

_B) Fuzzy Pushover_

_C) Asgore Dreemurr_

_D) Dr. Friendship_

Dr. Alphys appears to study the questions, while the timer ticks down. "Uhh... C." She tries to smile. It doesn't look like she's very happy.

"CORRECT! WHAT A TERRIFIC ANSWER! ENOUGH ABOUT YOU. LET'S TALK ABOUT ME!"

_What are robots made of?_

_A) Hopes &Dreams_

_B) Metal &Magic_

_C) Snips &Snails_

_D) Sugar &Spice_

The reptile's smile broadens, as she starts to seem more confident in her responses. "That's definitely B." 

"TOO EASY FOR YOU, HUH???????? HERE'S ANOTHER EASY ONE FOR YOU!"

_Two trains, Train A, and Train B, simultaneously depart Station A and Station B. Station A, and Station B are 252.5 miles apart from each other. Train A is moving at 124.7mph towards Station B, and Train B is moving at 253.5mph towards Station A. If both trains departed at 10:00AM and it's now 10:08, how much longer until both trains pass each other?_

_A) 31.054 minutes_

_B) 16.232 minutes_

_C) 32.049 minutes_

_D) 32.058 minutes_

Alphys's smile drops, as she studies the question. Sweat rolls off of her body. She no longer appears to be kawaii should a reptilian creature be said to appear to be kawaii. 

The timer ticks down.

There's a look of intense concentration on Alphys's face, as she appears to be trying to calculate something.

"Carry the-"

The timer reaches 0.

"WRONG!!! WRONG!!! WROOOOOOOONG!! DON'T 'COUNT' ON YOUR VICTORY..."

_How many flies are in this jar?_

_A) 54_

_B) 53_

_C) 55_

_D) 52_

Alphys jumps as she gets shocked. She panics, and looks at the jar, which is filled with a large number of flies, which could conceivably be anywhere between 52 and 55. The timer ticks down as she tries to count them. She glances up at the timer, and jumps with a start "Uhh... A!" Alphys manages to answer, just as the timer clicks to zero. The sound of gears whirring is heard for a moment. She doesn't get shocked.

"CORRECT! YOU'RE SO LUCKY TODAY! LET'S PLAY MEMORY GAME."

_What monster is this?_ An image is shown which appears to be half of Froggit's face. You feel certain that Froggit must be watching somewhere, and feeling thrilled that it is on TV.

_A) Froggit_

_B) Whimsun_

_C) Moldsmal_

_D) Mettaton_

Alphys frowns as she looks at the question. Sweat is still pouring off of her, and she is still very much no longer kawaii, should a reptilian creature be said to appear to be kawaii. She opens her mouth, before closing it. She opens it again. "Uhh... Is it... D? Mettaton?"

There's another pause, the sound of gears whirring to be heard again. 

"I'M SO FLATTERED YOU REMEMBERED!" 

The image of half of Froggit's face zooms out, and is revealed to be Mettaton, wearing a shirt with Froggit's face. You are still certain that Froggit would be thrilled. Perhaps more so, to know that Mettaton has a shirt with its face on it.

"BUT CAN YOU GET THIS ONE???"

_Would you smooch a ghost?_

_A) Heck yeah_

_B) Heck yeah_

_C) Heck yeah_

_D) Heck yeah_

Unlike the previous questions, the counter here is going up from thirty, instead of down. Alphys appears to be understandably stumped. "Uhhh... A?" 

"GREAT ANSWER! I LOVE IT!!!!! HERE'S A SIMPLE ONE.

_How many letters in the name Mettaton?_ After a second, another n appears, making it Mettatonn, and then another, making it Mettatonnn. The n's rapidly increase, going off the screen.

_A) 11_

_B) 6_

_C) 8_

_D)10_

The numbers also increase accordingly to the number of ns that have been added to Mettaton's name. Alphys sweats and looks at each answer. She wipes her brow. "Uhhh... B?" Alphys flinches, answering as the timer hits 1. She's shocked again.

"NO NO NO! CAN'T YOU READ!? TIME TO BREAK OUT THE BIG GUNS!!"

_In the dating simulation video game "Mew Mew Kissy Cutie" what is Mew Mew's favourite food?_

Alphys jumps up, sweat disappearing, and smiling brightly. She suddenly appears to be potentially kawaii again. She answers before the answers can even pop up. "OH! OH! I KNOW THIS ONE!!! IT'S SNAIL ICE CREAM!!!!!!! IN THE FOURTH CHAPTER EVERYONE GOES TO THE BEACH!!! AND SHE BUYS ICE CREAM FOR ALL OF HER FRIENDS !!!! BUT IT'S SNAIL FLAVOUR AND SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS IT!!!!!!! IT'S ONE OF MY FAVOURITE PARTS OF THE GAME BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY A VERY POWERFUL uhhh..." Alphys realises that Mettaton is staring at her. "message... about... Friendship...?"

"ALPHYS, ALPHYS, ALPHYS, IT'S NO FUN TO ANSWER BEFORE THE POTENTIAL ANSWERS CAN EVEN BE DISPLAYED. JUST FOR THAT, I'LL ASK A SPECIAL QUESTION, JUST FOR YOU."

Alphys visibly gulps, and starts sweating again.

_Who does Dr. Alphys have a crush on?_

_A) Undyne_

_B) Asgore_

_C) The viewers_

_D) Don't know_

Alphys's jaw drops as she reads the question. She goes bright red. She stammers, before running away, past the camera, which pushes it over, and then turns the screen black.

 

_201X - 3_

Mettaton is in the middle of what appears to be a commercial kitchen. A skeleton wearing a shirt that says  Cool Dude on it stands next to it, grinning. Although you aren't entirely sure whether the skeleton is actually grinning, or if that's simply the way he looks because he's a skeleton.

"HELLO EVERYBODY, MY NAME IS METTATON, AND WELCOME TO COOKING WITH METTATON. TODAY'S GUEST IS-"

" The GREAT Papyrus! Great to be here, thank you so much for having me Mettaton. "

"ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO INTRODUCE THE GUESTS. REROLL."

The camera goes black.

When it comes back on, Mettaton is in the middle of what looks to be the exact same commercial kitchen. The skeleton – the Great Papyrus – is still standing next to it. He's still grinning, though you're still unsure whether that's supposed to be a grin, or not.

"HELLO EVERYBODY, MY NAME IS METTATON, AND WELCOME TO COOKING WITH METTATON. TODAY'S GUEST IS-"

" The Great Papyrus! "

The camera goes black again

When it comes back on, Mettaton is in the middle of what you're now sure is the same commercial kitchen. The skeleton is on the ground, clutching his middle – where his guts would be were he not a skeleton – and this time you're quite certain that the grin was not a happy one. 

"HELLO EVERYBODY, MY NAME IS METTATON, AND WELCOME TO COOKING WITH METTATON. TODAY'S GUEST IS PAPYRUS, AND WE WILL BE COOKING SPAGHETTI."

The camera goes black again.

When it comes back on, the commercial kitchen is on fire, and Mettaton is standing in the middle of it, while Papyrus is holding a plate of spaghetti.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE RAN OUT OF FILM?"

 

_201X - 4_

Mettaton is in the centre of the screen, the screens that make up what could be called its face lighting up yellow occasionally in what could almost be described as a happy way.

"HELLO EVERYBODY, MY NAME IS METTATON, AND WELCOME TO THE UNDERGROUND NEWS. WITH ME TODAY IS OUR WONDERFUL CORRESPONDENT, SANS. SAY HELLO SANS."

The camera switches to one of a shorter skeleton, wearing a blue hoodie. Like the other one, you can't be sure whether his grin is from joy, or simply the form his skull takes.

" Hello Sans. "

"I'M THE ONE WHO MAKES THE JOKES HERE."

The camera goes black.

When it comes back on, everything is the same as before, with Mettaton in the centre of the screen. Some of its screens light up red instead of yellow, but that appears to be the only difference.

"HELLO EVERYBODY, MY NAME IS METTATON, AND WELCOME TO THE UNDERGROUND NEWS. WITH ME TODAY IS OUR WONDERFUL CORRESPONDENT, SANS. SAY HELLO, SANS."

The camera switches back to the shorter skeleton. The shot is further away, revealing him to be somewhere cold. You still can't say for sure whether or not he's actually grinning, but a part of you can't help but think it's an intentional grin. 

" Hello, Sans. "

The camera goes black.

When it comes back on again, Mettaton is once more in the centre of the screen. The screens on its face are flashing through red and yellow. 

"HELLO EVERYBODY, MY NAME IS METTATON, AND WELCOME TO THE UNDERGROUND NEWS. WITH ME TODAY IS OUR WONDERFUL CORRESPONDANT, SANS. SAY HELLO, SANS."

The camera switches again to the shot of the skeleton Sans, this time even further away. The skeleton appears to say something, though no sound comes through, not even the ambient sound of the snow that is falling around him. Sans lifts up an arm in what could potentially be a hello, or possibly a rude gesture, but the camera switches back to Mettaton before it can form any sort of rude gesture.

"SANS IS IN SNOWDIN TODAY, WHERE APPARENTLY IT'S SNOWING. HOW'S THAT SNOW LOOKING SANS?"

The camera switches to a very accurate snowman depiction of Papyrus. Next to it is a lump of snow, with the word  Sans written on it. 

The camera switches back to Mettaton, who is laughing, its red screens turning yellow again. "ISN'T THAT JUST THE TRUTH OF IT? TO ALL MY WONDERFUL VIEWERS, THANK YOU FOR TUNING IN, AND THANK YOU FOR LIKING THIS VIDEO. I HOPE TO SEE ALL OF YOU AT THE DEBUT OF MY NEW PLAY TOMORROW. IF NOT, I WILL SEE ALL YOU DUDES IN THE NEXT VIDEO."

 

_201X - 5_

A stage is set up. Standing on the stage is Mettaton, wearing a pink and purple dress. Lying underneath him is someone who appears to look like the Captain of the Royal Guard, or at least someone wearing Undyne's armour.

"OH NO! ROMEO! YOU PASSED AWAY SO SOON! YOU TOOK THE POISON THAT I LEFT OUT! HOW COULD YOU! I WAS SAVING THAT POISON! WHY DID YOU DRINK IT! NOW I'LL HAVE TO KILL YOU FOR TAKING MY POISON!"

Mettaton holds a giant sword over their head, that looks to be at least six times their own length, and five times as wide. Undyne – or the person wearing her Captain of the Royal Guard armour – grabs a spear that was lying next to them, and throws it at Mettaton. 

The camera goes black.

 

_201X - 6_

Mettaton is in a small space that looks very dark. It is mostly only visible due to its screens.

"HELLO EVERYBODY, MY NAME IS METTATON. I KNOW THAT I AM BEING AWFULLY QUIET HERE TODAY, AND THERE'S A VERY GOOD REASON FOR THAT. TODAY IS AN INCREDIBLY EXCITING DAY. THROUGH THIS WALL RIGHT HERE IS DR. ALPHYS IS DISTRACTING A HUMAN, SO THAT I CAN JUMP OUT AND SAVE THE DAY. UNDYNE PREVIOUSLY FAUGHT THIS HUMAN VALIANTLY, THOUGH IT SEEMS THIS HUMAN IS FILLED WITH DETERMINATION. I WILL BE NEEDED TO STEP IN AND HELP SOON. BUT MY COURAGEOUS EFFORT FIGHTING AGAINST THE HUMAN ISN'T THE ONLY EXCITING THING ABOUT TODAY. NO. DR. ALPHYS HAS REVEALED THAT SHE HAS AN UPGRADE FOR ME, THAT WILL BE REVEALED LATER TODAY. SO STAY TUNED, ALL YOU MONSTERS OUT THERE, FOR THE GRAND UNVEILING."


	3. Mettaton Ex's Sex Tape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're searching in the deepest and darkest places of the undernet when you discover something labeled "The one and only Mettaton Ex's Sex Tape." A deeply curious person, you click. This is the video you see.

The screen before you shows a room that is entirely mirrors. In the centre stands a tall, familiar figure. Black hair tipped with hot pink, styled to cover the figure’s right eye. Long black lashes framing the lone silver eye you can see. A delicate nose atop large, full lips. The figure raises a hand to those lips now, and blows a kiss towards the camera, before blinking.

Now that you think about it, that was probably supposed to be a wink, not a blink. The eye hidden behind the figure’s hair had probably stayed open as it closed its left eye. You were informed that this was to be a sex tape, after all, and such a gesture makes sense given the context of this tape.

“Hello everybody, my name is Mettaton Ex. And today, I am going to be doing something that has been requested by many humans and monsters. Indeed, most of you viewers and fans out there have asked for this, and I am nothing if not obliging for my fans. So, without further ado, I present to you my sex tape.”

Slowly, Mettaton Ex brings its hands up to its hair. It runs its hands through its hair, fluffing out the black and pink hair while it closes its eyes and leans its head back. Mettaton Ex appears gives its head a decent massage through its hair. You are uncertain whether or not it actually feels its long slender fingers probing its scalp, or whether this is purely a show for the audience – for you. Either way, it entices you to keep watching.

Mettaton Ex opens its eyes, looking directly at the camera now that both eyes are visible. Another wink – this one impossible to confuse for a blink now that you can see both its eyes. Its hands leave its head, and begin to slowly travel down its elongated neck, down its torso, to the bottom of its shirt. It grips the shirt for a moment, looking at the camera and biting its lower lip in what you assume is intended to be a playful way.

“Ohhhh yessss… Should I remove my shirt now? Or should I make all of you dirty minded boys and girls out there wait?” It seems to wait for a moment, as though expecting an answer, before pulling its shirt up in one smooth motion. With the shirt gone you are able to see Mettaton Ex’s bare torso for the first time.

Depending on you were expecting from Mettaton Ex’s torso, you may feel disappointed when you see it. There is no six or eight pack. There are no pectoral muscles. There are certainly no nipples. In fact, if you were expecting any nipples or muscles for that matter, to be on the torso of the robot, it is probably a good thing that you have not built a robot. After all, such things serve no function for a robot, apart from any potential aesthetic benefits to fit in with a human population. And, after all, Mettaton Ex was built by a monster, for monsters, in order to fit in with monster aesthetics, rather than human aesthetics, so it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise to you that the robot has no human characteristics on its torso.

Honestly, it should be surprising enough that the vague shape of Mettaton Ex is humanoid. Its creator could have very well gone with an entirely monster-esque figure, as opposed to the two arms, two legs, two eyes, one nose, one mouth, hair on the top of the head, figure that you now know and love as Mettaton Ex. It had previously been a perfectly aesthetically pleasing rectangle.

So, no. Mettaton Ex’s torso has none of the overly human characteristics that one might expect to be upon a torso. Instead, it is a very smooth sheet of metal that is shaped to form a very simple torso, that appears almost to be just an upside down triangle. After all, Mettaton Ex has large shoulders – well, not as large as they appeared now that its shirt has gone – but large shoulders, and a very slender, almost rather feminine in appearance waist.

With its torso now revealed, Mettaton Ex shimmies slightly, and almost manages to look like a disco ball as the light in the room is reflected off of the metal of its bare torso. The light bounces around for a bit off the mirrors, before it dims slightly, and seems to settle.

Mettaton Ex slowly begins to undo its belt buckle. Slowly, very slowly, it pulls out the belt. For a while the only sound is the soft rasp of the belt going through the pants loopholes. With a resounding crack, Mettaton Ex whips its belt through the air, holding the buckle in its hand. Mettaton Ex lets the belt drop to the mirrored floor, on top of the shirt. The belt falls with a muffled thwump.

“Ohhh yessss… You dirty, dirty boys and girls… You all want to see what’s beneath my pants, now, don’t you?”

You find yourself sitting on the edge of your seat. Since Mettaton’s first introduction in the Underground, and even Mettaton Ex’s introduction in the Above ground world of humans, people – monsters, and humans have been wondering exactly what was beneath Mettaton Ex’s pants.

Mettaton Ex takes hold of the waistband of its pants. This was it. The big reveal. Mettaton Ex was finally about to reveal to the world…

With a quick movement, the pants were around Mettaton Ex’s ankles.

Revealing what to humans could be easily described as all the genitalia that a Barbie or Ken doll might possess. Mettaton Ex bends down slowly, to help itself step out of its pants.

Through the mirrors that make up the back wall of the mirror filled room in which Mettaton Ex has been performing this bizarre undressing, you can clearly see its well shaped metal buttocks. The cheeks part as Mettaton Ex bends, and the lack of any hole in the cleft between the cheeks is abundantly obvious. If you were expecting Mettaton Ex to have an anus, you are clearly a disturbed individual, who should likely seek help of the psychiatric sort. Particularly if you have any intention of building a robot at any point in time, as no robot should really have any need for a hole like that, as the hole is used to expel waste from your body. Waste that your internal organs filter from the food that you eat. Given that a robot does not have need to eat food, it certainly has no need for internal organs to filter waste from that food. In fact, a robots insides are quite different to what a humans is, as it is filled with gears and circuits, and motherboards and hard drives.

Mettaton Ex runs its hands up its high heels, rubbing the metal that makes up its calves, and thighs, once its hands have gone past the top of its boots. Mettaton Ex begins to mimic the movements it had made previously in its hair, and starts to massage its thighs and calves.

“How are all of you dirty boys and girls enjoying this show? I do hope it’s living up to your expectations so far. But I believe there’s still more for me to do for this to be a sex tape. Although my legs are certainly sexy enough all on their own, I must admit.” There’s a chuckle, before Mettaton Ex stands up in a single smooth motion, flinging its hair back as it does so.

“Believe me, you are all in for quite a show. If I do say so myself.” Mettaton Ex’s hands explore its bare metallic torso for a moment, before Mettaton Ex winks.

The screen goes black.

When the picture comes back, Mettaton Ex is now in a bedroom. The small bedroom is almost entirely filled with a luxurious bed. The bed is gigantic, and appears to be a water bed. Without its signature clothing, a very silver Mettaton Ex is spread out atop the blue and black bedsheets.

The camera is positioned at an angle that allows for the entirety of Mettaton Ex’s body to be kept well in frame. Mettaton Ex’s heels are still on, though they are the only remnant of clothing that remain. Mettaton Ex winks, as it flicks its left leg up, offering a very clear view of its genital-less crotch to the camera.

“I hope all of you dirty, dirty boys and girls at home enjoy this as much as I’m going to.” Mettaton Ex’s left hand begins to rub its torso, around the area where you might expect pectoral muscles, or potentially breasts, to be, were Mettaton Ex not a robot with none of those things. Its right hand slips in between its legs, as its left leg bends to place its foot on the bed, slightly arching Mettaton Ex’s hips with the motion, moving its crotch that small amount closer to the camera.

“Ohhhhh yessssss...” Mettaton Ex begins to rub the blank metal area of its crotch. Its metal hand starts to rub slowly, before gradually increasing in speed. Mettaton Ex’s left hand continues to rub its nippleless chest where a nipple might be expected to be.

You start to wonder if Mettaton Ex can truly be enjoying this as much as it appears to be. After all, with no genitalia, it couldn’t possibly be as enjoyable as it would be were there genitalia involved. It almost made you wonder if Mettaton Ex could experience any of the sensations it was providing itself.

Then Mettaton Ex looks firmly in the camera, gasping just as it begins to rub faster (and possibly harder, you can hear an odd squeaking sound as the pace increases) and you can’t help but imagine that yes, it is enjoying itself. “Ohhhhh yesss...” There’s a breathy quality to Mettaton Ex’s voice that wasn’t quite there before, and it seems to vibrate somewhat, likely a response from the actual vibrations its hand has begun to perform at its crotch.

For a moment, you’re so caught up in the look of ecstasy on Mettaton Ex’s face, that you don’t notice the slight glowing in its crotch. Mettaton Ex doesn’t appear to notice it either, until it cries out.

You search the screen for the reason behind the cry. It doesn’t take long to become abundantly evident. Where before there was a perfectly smooth expanse of metal that made up Mettaton Ex’s crotch, there is now a hole the size of two of Mettaton Ex’s fingers.

Mettaton Ex slowly pulls its fingers out of the hole it had created, looking at them for a moment in wonderment, before grinning. “Ohh, I know what you want, you dirty, dirty boys and girls.” Mettaton Ex chuckles, before returning its hand to its crotch, with the new hole.

Mettaton Ex begins to insert fingers into the hole in its crotch.

“Ohhhh yessss...” Instead of gradually building up, as it had when rubbing its crotch, Mettaton Ex begins to rapidly push and pull its fingers in and out of its brand new hole.

Mettaton Ex leans its head back, moaning, as some sensation that you could likely never begin to describe should you even try, takes over it.

Your eyes are drawn to Mettaton Ex’s crotch now, as the friction of Mettaton Ex’s metal fingers rubbing against the sharp, jagged metal hole it had created, begins to form sparks. Mettaton Ex is in some sort of blissful state, unaware of the spark that you can now see landing perfectly on the blanket beneath it.

The spark glows there for a moment. You hold your breath. For a moment, it seems as though the spark is about to die, before anything bad can happen. But then another joins it. And the motion of Mettaton Ex’s hand thrusting its fingers in and out of the hole, fast enough to cause the sparks in the first place, stirs the air.

The spark turns into a flame.

Mettaton Ex is oblivious as a small flame begins to burn near its crotch. Instead, it thrashes around, its body experiencing some ecstatic sensation that you could only ever dream about.

It isn’t until the fire picks up, and brushes against Mettaton Ex’s body, that it realises something is wrong. Mettaton Ex opens its eyes, and looks upon the fire its lust has created. It jumps up.

The screen turns black.

For a moment there’s no sound, before a door seems to burst open, and some familiar voices begin panicking.

“NGAH! What do you mean you set fire to my bed?”

“Uh… Wh-what do you mean you t-t-tore a hole in your cr-crotch?”

There’s some generic panicked sounds for a while, as it seems an effort is made to put out the fire.

The camera turns back on, and Mettaton Ex is now sitting tied to a chair, with a light pointed at its face. Undyne stands behind it, glaring at Mettaton Ex with her arms crossed. There’s a bandage around Mettaton Ex’s crotch, and it is once more wearing its shirt.

Mettaton Ex looks directly at the camera.

“Don’t think for a moment it wasn’t worth it, you dirty, dirty robot you.” Mettaton Ex winks, before a furious Undyne punches the camera, and the screen goes black once more.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy. I did it. It went from interesting to funny to just what the heckers weird, right? I hope you stayed til the end and read it all. Please leave comments. This was based on a prompt from Pokestine. I am currently working on an entirely different fic based on the same prompt again for her. Keep an eye out for that in the future.


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